Well Fuck Me
by tamaraniantuesday
Summary: I'm honestly really feeling it, check this story out and find out where it goes


**The Elder Scrolls series belongs to Bethesda and that inglorious bastard Todd The God, i own this dick.**

 **Talking:** "why goat cheese?"

 **Thinking:** _"why the hell do they have goat cheese?"_

 **Shout/Dragon tongue/Entity speaking: "that just sounds gross"**

 **Entity/Creature thinking: _"fuck goats and their cheese"_**

 **Hey it's me again, i know, new story after such a long absence? Fuck you Anon! But i assure you I've been writing more than ever, I feel better now that i rewrote the Bleach story and a few others, so I'm finally gonna get started, and i have no other excuse besides having to deal with psychological issues but let's be honest, broken people make for great writers, so let's get right into this shit.**

,A face with delicate features lies dead on the ground, it's eyes blank, it's mouth open as if the person were screaming before their death, only garbed in a prisoner's tunic, not a pretty sight mind you, although others would argue, this was a high elf after all, but what is his story? How did all start? Well, his life isn't that grand of a tale, in fact it'it'd be rather boring to speak of his life from the moment he was born to this anticlimactic death, so let's start with this situation, HEM HEM.

 **~topsy turvy time skip but like a backflip into another garbage situation~**

He couldn't believe he got thrown in with these bunch of idiots, he had a mission to complete but then the blonde man, one Jarl Bagulf or whatever other name this nordic trash had, just had to go and harass him, blew his cover and that fool, Tulius "put two and two together" and threw him in with the idiot and the horse thief, of all the fucking divines he had to go and somehow piss off one of the bad ones, how the hell was he supposed to escape when these cuffs were enchanted to seal off magic!?

"Hmph, lucky me, I've been thrown in with a horse thief and the Jarl of a shithole named Whitecastle" He said, smirking when the Jarl visibly bristled at the insult and the misnaming of his city, he could at least derive _some_ pleasure before he was chopped at the block.

"Shut _up_ back there!" Their _chauffeur_ politely shouted back at them, accompanied with the jostling of their great, golden chariot, that was giving him splinters in his thighs, ow.

"I'll shut up when I'm dead!" He shouted back, his eyes flashing red for a moment, only a little more..

"A daywalker alongside being an agent of Thalmor? Disgusting." If that last part hadn't been so ludicrous he'd have spit in the Jarl's face for that, but that was just too funny, the Thalmor!? They were much bigger than the Thalmor, if only they knew.

"We'll see when we get there, yeah" He said, concentrating his red eyes on the Jarl and causing him discomfort, good.

"Hmph, we're here, maybe now you'll shut up!" Says the guard, their ever so happy ride into one of the shittiest shitholes he'd ever seen, wow this town was poor, oh well, he was gonna break free soon!

"Just shut up and get this-" The elven man started, but was interrupted by a distant roar, he'd never heard a roar quite so loud that it echoed throughout the valley, what was that?

"Ignore it! Up first, the horse thief, after that you're next, Stormcloak!" That last part had him giggling like a fool, stormcloak? Why would he side with such a weak faction? They'd soon see the error of their ways, his thoughts were once again interrupted by a roar, this time louder, the villagers were starting to talk and speculate at this point.

"Enough! Hurry up and get it over with!" It was then that he noticed that someone was in the chopping block, the priestess was interrupted by one of the imperials, and the axeman swing, he just noticed the horse thief on the ground far ahead, damn he zoned out! He was possibly going to die now.

"You! High elf! Get to the block." He had no choice but to play along, he needed to buy time and this was his best chance, only a little bit more! He grunted when the axeman pushed his head into the slab on stone, oh divines no.

The axeman was about to swing down when a thunderous boom sounded out, the elven man couldn't see but he could tell that whatever it was, it was massive, and powerful, another roar sounded out, this one stunning everyone, in the midst of the confusion the dragon focused it's sights on him.

 **"Dragonborn, heh, dragonborn no more i guess, i can't have you stopping me this time."** Spoke the dragon, it could speak!? He was effortlessly snatched up by the lizard's claw, it opened it's maw, and he felt his essence escape his body, no..

A small thud sounded out as the dragon dropped the now lifeless corpse, screeching out a victory cry, before laying waste to everything else, it was horror, this was end.

 **Ahh, what an ending to a prologue, but where will this go? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!**


End file.
